Oscar takes on: One Minute Apologist

Introduction

During Oscar's time as a Youtuber (none of his work survived), he stumbled across a guy named Bobby calling himself oneminuteapologist. Wylde was quick to note that Bobby wasn't very good at apologizing; in fact, he seemed hellbent on talking about the Bible at every turn possible. This became annoying to Oscar and he asked, "Whyfor dost thou speak so highly of Scripture?" Bobby grinned a plasticy grin and said, "I was once an out of control teen and young adult. Then, I started following a ruleset that prevented me from being out of control. I owe God everything." Oscar was not very satisfied with this answer. After all, anyone can follow rules! What was so special? Wylde set out to find out. He watched numerous videos and came to some surprising conclusions.

Arguments for a Creator or Jehovah?

Out of the 778 videos, some basically duplicates of others, but Oscar noticed a trend. As an example, take video 778, Do the Intricacies of the World Point to a Designer, and 777, Does the Beginning of the Universe Entail God's Existence. Neither one of these is specifically a Christian argument. They are in fact deist arguments. The deist sees something designed as proof of a designer. It says nothing of the rules or regulations, if any, made by the Designer. Many deists say the beginning of the universe entails a Creator because of the Infinite Regress fallacy, that is, all things have a cause and thus there must be some Ultimate that is uncaused. Bobby, rascal that he is, states that these point to Jehovah and Christ without any cause as to why. After all Allah was a creator, why not him? It is precisely this point why the arguments are never used for anything beyond a Creator.

Bobby makes a surprising claim in video 764: doubters are the ones who take things literally. Oscar noticed that logicians must take things literally in order to be used for proofs. It can thus be seen that Bobby thinks logic = doubt. Why is a miracle of Christ to be taken literally, but a prophecy not? Who knows! The Bible is supposed to be inerrant, yet Bobby says those who doubt take things literally. Well, if Jesus didn't literally die and literally rise again (tired of that word yet?) then there's literally no reason to be a Christian. Bobby wouldn't argue that. He would argue that if you doubt, you take things too literally, and that you should pray and not take things literally. In other words, just ignore the doubt and read Scripture how you need to to fit your views.

Paine is really tired of this $#!+

Video 704 briefly discusses some arguments for God's existence. Bobby leaves out the ontological argument for good reason: if God is perfect and must exist because it would be possible to think of a god that is greater than can be conceived would be. In other words, it is reducto ad absurdem. Whether the argument is successful or not is not Oscar's concern. What is is that it only postulates a perfect being. Whether it is Jehovah is not specified. Bobby also mentions the cosmological argument. This is the first cause/infinite regress fallacy already covered above. There is nothing saying the First Cause must be Jehovah, only a Creator able to Cause. The teleological argument is the argument by design already covered. It only dictates a Creator, and thus is no proof of Christianity.

Flawed Reasoning
In video 608, How were the New Testament Books Picked, Bobby states that the books were picked by universal agreement, relation to the writers they were attributed to, and if they agreed with the Old Testament. The problem for him and Christians is that this is self proof, If the Old Testament is true and the New Testament book agrees, then it's a book of the Bible. This begs the question of authority of the book, which Thomas Paine covers thoroughly in The Age of Reason. There is no proof of being inspired. Also, universal acceptance is a bandwagon fallacy.

Thus Oscar Wylde has once again shown that Christianity steals deistic arguments and doesn't even extend them properly.

Wylde Notions: Deism

Today for you I will be going over the true facts of Deism according to Oscar Wylde. Pay attention, as there will be a quiz at the end. DO NOT simply scroll back up to help you answer the questions. Use a #2 pencil and wide ruled paper in the comments section. If you think it's funny to answer Yes Please to a question, think again, because this is serious stuff all the time.

Not a deist

What is a deist? According to Mr. Wylde, a deist is someone who answers "Yes Please!" to "Is there a god?" Further, a deist answers "Yes Please!" when asked, "Do you want fries with that?" Deists usually believe in a creator due to the Infinite Regress fallacy. According to Oscar, the IRF is "a big pain in the ass for atheists and they should suck it." On this blog, sucking it is optional as Oscar isn't here to enforce it.

So what about Yahweh or Allah, for example? Allah wasn't available for comment, but according to Oscar, Mohammed replied "Allahu akbar!" and promptly exploded. As for Jehovah/Elohim/Yahweh, the apostle Paul replied, "Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus. That homo Wylde ain't no deist and that's that. Besides, I'm too depressed to do much besides fill out the New Testament."

Not A distaction

Deists can differ on many points. As Wylde points out in his memoirs Fucked Silly in Paris, "Some deists like miracles, some don't. I'm not a deist so bugger if I know." Other forms of intervention and prayer are also key points. The Apostle Paul replied to this point saying, "Deists are too cowardly to pray. They refuse to ask for the bludgeoning they need to be made whole in Christ. They really need that beating to be as humble as I am."

So why do people become deists? According to my personal source, me, there are few points I made. For example, if Yahweh is the same forever, why does he grant salvation to only pious Jews, then kills them anyways, then eventually let's everyone in on eternal life unless Matt 15:24 is true and Gentiles are all fucked? Another point could be that a believer isn't really comfortable with a god who would slaughter infants.

An abortionist I interviewed laconically told me, "Ya know, I'm doing Yahweh's work, killing the infants of the infidels. I don't listen to that New Testament crap."

There are other reasons as you may guess. Matthew 15:24 is at odds with the message of John 3:16. The former verse has Jesus saying he came only for Israel. John 3:16 says he was sent for the world. This is known by Wylde as "bullshit" and by logicians as a "contradiction" (sometimes spelled contradicktion by Wylde). Is salavation only for the barbaric Jews? Or is it for everyone? How are we supposed to know if Inerrant Scripture can't tell us?

Seriously, ask a Jew about his culture and see how much of the Torah is brought up. The old books and laws may even be quoted, but not the Torah. Too much blood and gore, they said.

Now for the quiz:

1) According to Oscar Wylde, what is a deist?
2) Did Mohammed explode before or after yelling "Allahu akbar!"
3) What did the Apostle Paul do in his free time?
4) Name this person:

 5) Name the abortionist I quoted.
6) Who is known for the quote "It's time to beat the meat puppet!"?

Submit your answers below in the comments!

A Wylde Rush: Cosby Edition

I'd like to take the time to write the facts on Bill Cosby and his drug fetish. Over the last week I've heard confusing news stories and quotes, so I'd like to clear the air with no distractions.

Cosby drugged every single one of them.

Let's review what we know. Over the last year, every woman and their mothers came out accusing Cosby of trying to further their careers. This annoyed Cosby and in most cases he denied doing such a thing. The times he did help further a career, he insisted that each woman took a special drug to make them better at acting.

Cosby Cat was the one to collect the drugs

Not a distraction

So how did Cosby get away with it all? Until recently, he was able to pin the whole thing on his accomplice, Cosby Cat (pictured here). Cat was the one to get the drugs for Bill. and once Cat mentioned going public, Bill became furious and blamed Cat for everything. Bill made up the story that while he was attending to something else, Cosby Cat would drug the women. Then, Bill stated emphatically, Cat would put on a Bill Cosby Mask and attach a strap-on so he could molest the women involved (some pictured above).

Cat's lawyer wasted no time in collecting stories from the victims. They recollected only colors and shapes, so Cat was out of luck. All of the women remembered a black shadow looming over them and the feeling of a phallus in different places.

To save himself, Cat threw his life on the mercy of the court. Once he confessed to getting the drugs for Bill, he was let go on probation due to his help. Bill is now wanted for 523 acts of molestation, 757 counts of sexual assault, and various other charges. When asked to comment in an interview, Bill said, "As my friend OJ would say, if I did it, I didn't get caught. At least until that damn cat lied about me." 

It's going to be a Wylde Ryde

First, I'd like to thank my hero, Oscar Wilde for the inspiration to start this blog. He came to me in a dream one night and I asked him, "What are you doing here? What do you want?" He responded, "I want you to start a blog about serious things for me, as I am dead." I thought this was a rude interruption to my dream and said, "And how do you ask?" He grinned ear to ear and yelled "YES PLEASE!" Satisfied, I began plotting the serious nature and material of this blog. As "Wilde Time" is already taken, I had to change the I's to Y's. This is a serious change but it cannot be helped.

Let me remind you once again, this is serious stuff! When I say that someone is a pigfaced, smelly fathead, I'm not trying to start something, I'm just reporting something in a serious way. "Only the facts, ma'am" and that sort of thing. Rarely, I will inject my opinion to elucidate what I am reporting so that it stands out more. I have decided not to mark this in any way, as it would detract from the serious nature of this blog.

For example, when Michael Vick was arrested on dogfighting charges, a section would look something like this:

Michael Vick was recently apprehended by police for information regarding dog fights that he was allegedly part of. Vick denied these claims, but the officers pressed further. "Is it true that you yell 'Go Lillipup!' and then hurl your dog into the ring?" Vick replied smugly, "Naw dawg, I yell, 'Eat his face, Growlithe!' For serious man, learn your Pokey Manz." Police then arrested Vick due to his indirect confession. I would have yelled, "Go, Raikou!" but that's just me.

Not a distraction

Not a distraction.

As you can see by that last line, I highlighted Vick's comments by adding my own. Recall that this is a serious blog with serious stories. There are no distractions or other nonsense preventing you from getting the best information possible. Look forward to updates on politics, deism and religion, sexy tyme stuff, and more!