Wylde People: John McCain

Elmer Fudd's brother

Senator John McCain is an old fuddyduddy best known for his job as senator of Arizona. His favorite animal is the rino and he enjoys relaxing gum messages by neighborhood MILF-types. He is next best known for crashing planes and getting the crap beat out of him.

Sen. McCain has an office with decorated with rinos, an animal once thought to be extinct. It is not related to the rhino as its name implies. Instead, it is related to the chameleon. Like a chameleon, the rino changes its appearance to suit its surroundings. Being a social animal, it does this to win the favor of other animals. However, once it gets the attention it wants, it is known to use its massive jaws to swallow prey whole, even those friendly to it.

Notably, McCain has called his supporters terrorists, hobbits, and other foul names. Perhaps McCain forgot his time in Syria, where he tried to arm terrorist rebels, or maybe he's just an asspile. No one really knows. There are those who question his ways, namely Donald Trump. Just days ago, Trump slammed McCain saying, "So he crashed his fucking plane and got caught. He sang like a bird and now he's a hero. Give me a break! He was rewarded with drugs and women, which I'm sure are to blame for his decisions as senator."

Perhaps she "helped" John at the Hanoi Hilton?

Sen. McCain was outraged. In a 15 minute long diatribe, he slayed Trump in every way he could, including, "That nasty ass, comb-overed, business man is wrong about me! I'm a maverick! When I failed to eject from my plane properly, I ended up in the Hanoi Hilton. That makes me a war hero already! But there's more I'd like to say to that Twinkie eating buffoon! When I came to, I had been operated on. Obviously, the Vietnamese had implanted a mind control device in my head. Why else would I break under pressure and tell them everything they wanted to know? What's the big deal anyways? After the war, Nam and the USA traded a bunch of crap. I just gave them a head start is all. I"m a maverick! Tell Trump if he wants to finish this, meet me at the Texas-Mexican border with his favorite gun. I'll show him what a POW does to a piece of trash like him!"

Trump declined to comment further. I am reminded of the wise words of Oscar Wylde, "When you suck, people point it out. Sucking begets anger and reveals the true self." This implies that some of what each man said to the other was true. The Apostle Paul wrote in saying, "John McCain is a man of Yahweh. He wants war and that's great if you're into that Old Testament stuff." Mohammed refused to comment.